Women of Softcom



If you had the chance to sit with your younger self, what would you say to her? You’d tell her to love wholeheartedly, live unreservedly, and laugh heartily. When we look back, we choose to engage ourselves in refreshingly honest monologues where we acknowledge our coming of age and the challenges, lessons and blessings that accompany it. With these notes to our younger self, we reach into our past to draw a visible connection between who we once were and who we are now, knowing full well that the girl in the letter gave wings for the woman of now to fly.

There is absolutely no limit to what you can achieve...

Georgina Nwauko

I need you to always hold on to that dream of being the badass female engineer...

Philomena Obasi

Your dreams are valid...

Kenechi Ikem

When you find people who inspire you and care about you, invest in those relationships.

Gloria George

Your brilliance will build you. Your wild imagination is where your gift lies...

Odulu Amos

I can't wait to see newer versions of the woman you’re evolving to become...

Yeside Garrick

You’re ageless and beautiful, own it and wear it well...

Dilly Abia

Learn through the in-betweens. And when the lows get low, fight through them...

Gloria Akor

Watch yourself bloom like a flower and unfold your own beauty...

Tolu Omoyeni

Sometimes, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world and sometimes you won't...

Weyinmi Barber

Dear Bussy baby, you are doing great...

Adebusola Adedotun

If plan A doesn't work, keep going till you get to Z, it's never too late to reinvent yourself...

Enajite Aggreh

You won't disappoint yourself...

Uloma Nwoke

Dear Young Gina,

You’ve been through so much yet you still stand strong. If only you knew, you would have made better choices.

There is absolutely no limit to what you can achieve if you’re consistent, hard and smart working, and prayerful. Continue to unlearn, relearn, reinvent and evolve, I love you!

Georgina Nwauko

Hey You,


It’s a good day today, so I thought it wise to say hi. 😊

I miss you. Although not entirely carefree and oblivious to life’s realities, you are such a happy soul and I am so proud of you for that!😊🥳


I need you to always hold on to that dream of being the badass female engineer that solves problems. I hope you are open to all the many ways in which problems can be solved.


Most importantly, begin to love yourself way more than you currently do and don’t sell yourself short… you’re a star!

Cheers, honey! 🥂

I hope to write again soon. 😊🥰😘

Love, Philz. 💕

Philomena Obasi

Dear me,


Your dreams are valid. Know that no matter how hard it seems now, you will get it done. You’re amazing and you should be more confident. Speak up and don’t be so scared to live life. Oh and you’re beautiful, don’t be so insecure. 


I love you.

Kenechi Ikem

Hey Gloria,


I’m you, writing from the future. It may seem weird but just play along. I want to tell you a few things. Adult life is more time-constrained than you might expect. There’s a lot to do but you must also know that you can do everything. You have wisdom and an insatiable drive that will allow you to endure the challenging journey ahead.


Surround yourself with people who think differently and challenge you. And when you find people who inspire you and care about you, invest in those relationships.


Gloria, I have a lot more to tell you girl, but my time is running short and you’ll be better served to learn the rest on your own.

Keep going, girl. You’re on the right path.

Gloria George

Always choose you.


Don’t be afraid to walk away from situations that don’t favour your progress or happiness.


Your brilliance will build you.


You don’t need to join the science class just to prove you’re as smart as the boys. Your wild imagination is where your gift lies.


Don’t worry about failing physics and not knowing what you are good at, or never figuring out what course you’d like to study in university. You will find your path.


Love today. Cherish every moment with your loved ones. Create time for them and show them how you love them. Hug them tighter.


You are not a rebel, you are living.
I know you don’t care about what people think, you are on the right path. Enjoy life. Live with love and not judgement and discrimination.


Life will happen.
Let the tears fall, you are not emotional, you are human. Cry when you need to, and smile when you feel it. Don’t be too hard on yourself.


You will conquer the world.


No, you cannot conform to the norms, you are here for more, to do great things and to change things. Your ambition is valid.


Don’t ever think of dimming your light for anyone. Make sure you shine and when you do, make it bright.

Odulu Amos

Hey Little Yeside,


The first time you hear “don’t allow your background put your back on the ground”, it would sound a little funny, but would resonate with you because of the tough circumstances that will present themselves and your resolve to never let them stop you from succeeding in life.


God has great plans for you, so just continue to trust him and hold unto him. Work hard and always believe in yourself… because maybe only your mum, Mrs Garrick will.


Don’t stop being that sweet and kindhearted girl even though many will want to take it for granted.


I love you very much and I can’t wait to see newer versions of the woman you’re evolving to become.

Yeside Garrick

Hi Dilly,


If there was someone you could trust, that person is you (me), yes you. No one will be able to understand your uniqueness, beauty, fights and victories. When people say you are this or that, it’s their opinion of you but it’s up to you to decide to own that opinion. So, I’ve taken the time (briefly and rather quickly while sitting at our desk – yours in a few years ahead – to tell you about the woman you will become if you make the same choices and decisions I have)


– you are strong, push through and fight for the things you want.
– if your mind can’t imagine, borrow; borrow dreams and make them yours.
– you are infinite – literally!
– love more and be loved more, don’t shy from those emotions, they make you beautiful.
– ask more questions.
– don’t be afraid, do it afraid.
– be open to all possibilities and expressions of you.
– you’re ageless and beautiful, own it and wear it well.


Lastly, enjoy where you are momentarily because time is transient, some experiences will never come back and you don’t want to regret losing those moments.


If there was anything from this rather long but short letter is “Enjoy being you, there is no one and will never be anyone like you. Enjoy every moment.”

Dilly Abia

My darling, it gets better, I promise.


One day, you will wake up and find that you’ve grown up and the things that seem like they’re going to kill you right now will be distant memories that you barely even remember. You will realize that your teenage years were just a phase – baby fat, acne, awkwardness and all – and that you’ve fallen in love with your body and are no longer ashamed to call it home. You will realize that your love for stories was never a distraction and it has opened doors for you that you never could have imagined.


Most importantly, you will realize that you’ve come to love yourself. It was hard, grueling work but you did it. And you will be so proud because it’s not a love that is half-baked. It doesn’t gloss over your flaws and insecurities. It accepts them, accepts you and it gives you space to do, to BE, without judgment. It is a love that is as soft as it is strong, that is both the anchor and the sails, that feels like taking flight and coming home and coming home all at once. You won’t realize all these things on the same day. They will reveal themselves to you in layers, as you evolve into a beautifully complex woman. But, even as these layers unfold, you must be patient. Don’t try to run too far, too fast. Everything good WILL come. So be patient.


Don’t spend too much time obsessing about the future. Be present in every second of your becoming: enjoy the highs. Learn through the in-betweens. And when the lows get low, fight through them. Fight for your happiness, for your voice. Fight to love yourself; low self-esteem will not serve you. Fight to show up for yourself, consistently. Learn the value of strong friendships, especially strong FEMALE friendships and nurture them. They will save your life. Fall in love with making mistakes, because that’s how you learn.


Take more pictures with your father and more videos of him. He won’t be around forever. Tell all your stories, even the ones you think are unimportant. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Learn the art of forgetting. Remember that what you water. grows and what you neglect, dies. Use this principle everyday. Know that you are evolving. Even as I write this, you are still evolving. And, like you, I don’t know who I’m going to meet in 10 years time, but I know for sure that I’ll love her. I know, for sure, that you’ll love me.

Gloria Akor

Dear young and beautiful Tolu,


I want you to know, first of all, that I am proud of you. Especially for chasing your dreams and outperforming your goals at an age where many are uncertain of what they want to be. You are smart and brilliant yet naive, unassuming and almost without sin.


You love your family and your friends so much you would go miles just to see to their needs and keep a smile on their faces. This is what stands you out. Don’t ever lose your kind heart. It will serve you and others in the future. You don’t consider yourself pretty enough, but I’m here to tell you that you’re enough. Your beautiful is sufficient and soon, you’ll see it.


So many things will unravel as you grow. You think mother is hard on you now, but soon enough, you’ll realize that she’s only shaping you and you’ll be grateful for the woman you become. Yes, father seems to have deserted you but he’ll soon be your best friend, just wait. Don’t be in a hurry to find love, love will find you in its time. Don’t pace yourself according to the timing of your friends or society, things will fall in place for you in God’s time.


Oh Tolu, you’re such a rockstar and you will love your life. Your adult life will blossom so beautifully, you and everyone who comes across you will wonder. But one thing, my darling, do not hurry. Watch yourself bloom like a flower and unfold your own beauty.

Tolu Omoyeni

Dear Mimi, your dreams are valid.


Some of them will come true and some of them won’t. Sometimes, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world and sometimes you won’t. Sometimes, it’ll feel like you’re so far behind and everyone else is ahead of you and other times, you’ll marvel at how well you’ve won the catch up game. Sometimes you’ll laugh so hard your tummy will hurt, and other times your tears will leave you gasping for air. But in all of this, know that- your tenacity and grit is a super power, your loyalty helps you build amazing relationships, your hard work and consistency will bring results, your kindness is a gift from above. Stay hopeful, stay faithful, and never ever dim your light. You’ve got this.


Love, Weyinmi

Weyinmi Barber

Dear Busola (a.k.a. Bussy baby, Bussy mama, Buss Buss, Bussystyle), you are doing great, don’t overthink, enjoy life, be grateful always. Remember, to whom much is given, much more is expected. So stay focused, don’t be in competition with anyone, be diligent and trust GOD Almighty to lead and guide you.



Adebusola Adedotun

Dear Smallie, the first thing I want you to know is that life happens. I know everything is peachy, you have an amazing family, loving parents and siblings and an angel of a mother who will take a bullet for you, but that changed in an instant. Life happens while we are all making plans. So when those bullets hit you, I want you to already be wearing your Kevlar and chest it LIKE A BOSS!!!


On to the good stuff, I want you to know you are amazing, you are worth all the diamonds in the world so don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise… You can do whatever you set your mind to, you can achieve whatever you set out to. Don’t stop, keep pushing, it’s not over until the fat lady sings. i also think you should know that there are many roads to success, so if plan A doesn’t work, keep going till you get to Z, it’s never too late to reinvent yourself… Remember Colonel Sanders, Morgan Freeman, Barack Obama, Oprah, draw strength from their stories.


Whatever you. do, don’t ever change who you are… You are so so so beautiful inside and out , and the world is waiting for your light to shine, so SHINE MY DARLING…. You are the answer to someone’s prayer. Finally, pray without ceasing and if someone tells you prayer doesn’t work, keep praying anyways. Love God, love your neighbour as yourself (not more than yourself). Love love love whether or not you are being loved back, because love is the greatest gift of them all. God’s got your back…. You gat this!!!!

Enajite Aggreh

Dear Uloma,


Be more brave and assertive. To succeed in a world where women are expected to be submissive and amenable, you’ll need it. You’ll be called stubborn, rebellious, arrogant, unbendable, even possessed, and it’ll be a good thing. You will disappoint people, but at least you won’t disappoint yourself.

Uloma Nwoke